Diary of a obese wimpy kid
So nobody wants to be the next to write in the blog cause they know they won’t outdo what Brody has written. So I’ll write something so that the bar can be put back low again and the next person can look like a pro. Brody said that this new blog is for people to post whatever even if it’s not about Crossfit. I’m glad it can be about whatever because I’m so glad that I’m not a Crossfiter . Two things that I really hate is early mornings and exercise. At the height of my Crossfit experience, I was there 5 days a week usually at freakin 6am sometimes even 5am! I have scars on my legs from being exhausted and letting go of the bar and letting it roll down my legs. I would always have blisters on my hands. What kind of a way of living is that. I would check out the website a couple of times a day to see if there were any updated comments on there. It was seriously somewhere on my mind all day long everyday, even on so called “Rest” days. I was also afraid to eat whatever I wanted because I knew I would end up paying for it the next day. I was hooked. I was a CF addict.
I got several of my friends to join Crossfit and most of them still go regularly and are “addicted.” I apologize to them for that. I also had a strange mindset that only Crossfitters could understand. I got one of my friends to commit to me that she would come and at least check it out but I never saw her. I asked her why she didn’t show up. She said, “I did show up and I watched from the stairs as some guy was doing these things where you go from doing a pushup to doing jumping jack and back again over and over. When he got done, he went over and threw up” I laughed at her because she just didn’t understand what it was like to push yourself as far as you can.
Luckily, it’s been about a year since I was able to go full out week after week so I’ve been able to see how crazy I was and how much of my life it took up. At the same time, that I was eating right and exercising, I was also going to physical therapy and a chiropractor making sure that I was able to keep my spine and legs in as good of shape as I could. Even with that, my Cerebral Palsy makes the muscles in my legs so tight that I was not able to do all of the things that a Crossfitter could. I don’t have the flexibility in my legs and ankles to be able to do a full range squats, I can’t bend my legs and ankles enough to do a real box jump, or bend my knees enough to do heavy deadlifts but I didn’t really care about that. I would do as much as I could and always made sure I finished the WOD no matter how long it took.
I got a job that left me more sedentary than the one before. This job left me with different insurance and the PT and chiropractic care weren’t covered as much. I was ok with not going to the PT because honestly, most of the stretches that I was doing, was the same things we were doing in CF. The Chiropractic care was still pretty important but I was able to do ok without it. I still ate “ok” but if I knew I wasn’t going the next day, I wouldn’t watch as closely what I ate.
You can see where this is headed. In the past year, through a series of many causes; osteoarthritis, tension from my CP pulling things out of alignment, old age, a narrowing of my spine touching nerves, my back has gotten so bad that I can feel the back of my spine grinding in every movement that I go through all day. In the past 6 months, I’ve only been to class a handful of times. Just enough for people not to notice I’ve been gone. To go along with that, I have gained a few pounds each month. That’s really not that bad since our weight can fluctuate 2 or 3 lbs per day up or down. So a few lbs in a month, no big deal., right? Well it is if you figure a few lbs a month for 12 months is 40 extra lbs. Did the back problems make me gain weight OR did the weight gain add to my back problems? Probably yes to both. I’ve been to a few specialists and tried epidurals and other things but basically, the answer is I have chronic back pain and nothing will cure it and there’s a good chance I’ll be in a wheelchair one day. I can take certain measures to slow these things down but there will always be the pain.
But, I’m not writing this to whine. In fact, I don’t remember what I was telling you. Oh yeah, I’m glad I’m not a Crossfitter. There’s a chance that I could probably lose some weight and slowly fight back into shape but man, that’s hard work. It’s kind of nice now that I can just embrace the way my body is going and don’t have to fight it any more. I didn’t really even like Crossfit, it was tough.
Now that I’ve started down the slope I’m heading, it will be so nice to finally have the CF portion of my life finally behind me. I have pain but have you ever felt the pain of running the track with sandbags or running “the hill”? That’s pretty horrible right there and that’s voluntary. I won’t say that I didn’t have some good memories. I’ve done crazy WODS like the 300 and the 12 days of Christmas and others just as bad. Those things really sucked. I mean, yeah, I felt a great deal of accomplishment after finishing these and other WODs, but, wow they were horrid. I’ll admit when I was doing it 5 days a week, I was in the best shape I had been in, in probably 15 years. My core was the strongest it had been since I could remember it. For the first time in my life, I could actually do pull ups. My range of motion was the best it’s been in years. I’ve ran farther than I thought I could. I was able to do some other things I never thought I’d do. I ran a 10k up a stupid mountainside and through the mud. Yeah it was fun, but even that really was extremely hard. I’m not even sure why I did it.
It’s so good to finally have this out of my life. Yeah, I acknowledge that there’s a certain camaraderie that comes with going to class that I don’t get in the cardio room. I do have a certain bond with my fellow Crossfiters when we finish a WOD that I don’t really have for someone when we my fellow elliptical users get done with their 25 minute workout and they seem to get annoyed when I give them a victory hug. So I’d be lying if I said I won’t miss that a little but things are a lot easier now that CF is just a memory.. It’s so good now that I never think about it. Well, I can’t say never. I still look at the games standings so that I can cheer on the contestants from “my box”, Crossfit the Club, and I take pride when I see how well Lindsay and the other trainers have done preparing my friends for the games. I’m still excited for people when they hit PRs but other than that, I don’t really think about it….. That’s right, It’s no longer a part of my life. Good riddance. I don’t even miss it at all…… Ok, I admit I miss my homies just a little bit. I miss the joking and good times just a little. I miss making fun of Dirk and Maurizio. I miss a good sweaty Walt hug occasionally but that is it……I may have built some pretty strong bonds that I will cherish but I bet if the people in the weight room took off their headphones, they might joke with me the same way I did with my CF friends. Right?…….Right?……….I’m not addicted to Crossfit at all, right? I don’t really need it? It was kind of nice how you can make certain adjustments to the WODs according to one’s skill level but still give everything you’ve got.
Well, I guess, I think about it a tiny bit. I still lay out my CF clothes every night hoping that I’ll feel good enough to go but that’s probably more out of habit cause I don’t really think about the WODs anymore…… Well, maybe a little. I do still look at the site and Facebook a couple of times a day to see what people have posted and I still watch CF videos on Youtube a lot but that is seriously it…..except for all of the CF games that I have on my DVR…….I mean…….Oh crap, I guess I do like Crossfit just a little and I can’t get it out of my life. I know that it works and that it is the best thing for me right now. Once it is fully part of your life, it seems, you aren’t going to get rid of it. It might seem that it would be easy to just forget about it, but you can’t and I know I won’t be satisfied until I’m back doing it full time again. So yeah, I might just be a tiny bit of a Crossfit addict. A big overweight, injured, out of shape Crossfit junkie.
Fine. I guess it’s time to recommit to getting healthy again. I’m not very happy about it because I already know how bad the first 6 weeks really really sucks, and I really enjoy sleeping in. Even if I hurt so bad that all I can do is row or ride the bike, it’s still better than staying home. Ok, I’m going to do this but I’m not very happy about it. It looks like the best way to do this is going to be to make some day to day goals and keep a record of it to see how well I can progress again. Oh man. Crossfit. What a big pain in the butt. We’ll see you all in class………..Jerks.
[I’ve decided to make a daily picture tracker and mini journal so that I can measure my success but I didn’t want to monopolize the Crossfittheclub Blog and have this site be overwhelmed with my daily dullness, so I had my 10 year old daughter (yeah that’s right) make me a simple blog that I can put the day to day progress on it. I couldn’t figure out a way of putting a daily pic and update on this site, plus you’d quickly get sick of my constant whining. Plus it will be more than just Crossfit, I’m going to try different things to go along with my CF and Chiropractic care and I’m thinking of putting keeping a journal of what works and doesn’t for me. So I’ll put it here http://wahlball.blogspot.com/ and then if Lindsay or Brody finds anything interesting, then they can post it on the Crossfit The Club Blog. ]